Date: 11th July 2011 at 4:31pm
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Couch Star to Opera Star? Couch Potato comes up with a cunning new plan enlisting the help of the C’oyly Carte Opera Company. Yes folks it’s ‘Coyle the Opera’

Couch Star to Opera Star? Couch Potato comes up with a cunning new plan enlisting the help of the C’oyly Carte Opera Company. Yes folks it’s ‘Coyle the Opera’

We let CP himself explain:

‘In response to TMP’s impassioned pleas for more front page Vital Burnley articles, I had said I would do some articles about a project I’ve been scribbling away at on backs of envelopes for some time. I call it ‘Coyle The Opera’. Someone has suggested it might better be called ‘Coyle: A Song and A Dance’. Whatever.

My goal has been to write a scene-by-scene outline, across 5 articles, and invite anyone to: make it better; write songs; write music; whatever.

I have never done anything like this before, on or off the internet; and I have no musical talent. I used to be able to play a record player, but no-one wants such skills any more! But if it did get going, could anyone hum/sing/play a song they had written on VB? Maybe by a U-Tube implant?

Anyway, I have the basic structure clear in my head, and some while ago posted in VB forums the grizzly end that I have read is essential to making all opera a success.

I have also worked out how to use the apparently common operatic tradition of masks to take the story from where *oyley is now, to where I need him to end up… drowning himself in an icy wintertime Whiddup Reservoir, as the only way to quench the fires of his self-consuming ambition, and then being dragged from purgatory to eternal hellfire by the Old Gartside, this time promising a chance to manage the red devils.

All will be revealed. All good so far?

But then I thought I’d better read Dave Thomas’s latest book – Entertainment, Heroes and Villains – to make sure I wasn’t missing any key story lines.

It’s typically readable, and in the lengthy extracts from Floodo’s book about his first meetings (when *oyley said he’d work for nothing if he got the chance to manage Burnley) I kept thinking oooh that would make a good song! To say nothing of a dance!

The trouble is, I also read Dave’s early comment about it being a hard book to write, in his case because he felt he’d have to set aside the emotions of his diaries… if only, I would suggest, to enable him to get an interview with the *oyley one imself, and other luminaries of varying repute. All of which he typically brilliantly then did.

But the ‘hard book’ comment got me thinking about how it’s all still too recent to spend too long reading the bulk of the book. The tension between the glorious memories and the tragic betrayal is just too great for Dave’s book to be bedtime reading. So… I am having to read on only at times when I feel strong enough to cope with my emotions being ripped apart.

When I get to the end – and I will – I’ll resume writing the outline of the opera. Unlike the book, it will not make any attempt to be balanced, and therefore – I hope – be easier reading for those of you, like me, who are not yet ready to be balanced in their opinions on this delicate matter.

Which again leads me back to opera, because I am told by those – unlike me – who actually listen to it on a regular basis, that, at it’s best, opera is all about raw emotion. All of which means, in turn, that it’s going to take some time to get it all out…

Okay. Having come this far, if TMP wants to stick this email to my fellow VB ‘journalists’ (I see myself more of a smart a****) up as an article, I won’t sue him!

But, while I am struggling away with this grand plan, I want also to draw inspiration from RT’s aspiration of writing a regular(ish) weekly column, on a Monday night, I think it was, called ‘Rickers World’… and suggest I do one, for publication on maybe Wednesdays or Thursdays or not, called ‘The View from the Couch’.

It, like most of my over-frequent posts on VB, will be more likely offbeat than mainstream, hunting down whatever fascinates me in the wider world of football, on and off the pitch… but always with a link to our beloved Clarets, albeit perhaps sometimes of a tenuous nature. Sometimes it will be serious. Sometimes not. Just like opera in fact!

THE END (but not yet closure)’

Couch Potato


7 Replies to “Coyle the Opera!”

  • Interesting to see how this one develops,in the mean time I shall start gargling in order to give my superb rendition of ‘Nessun Dorma’ which as we all know is Italian for ‘None Shall Sleep’ which of course you wont when you hear my voice!

  • I thought it was the *oyley *art Opera Company tmp. But I’m not going to raise a stink about it!!! 🙂

  • CP You would have been better running it as a circus than Opera given the clowns down their at the moment !!! we could have had a field day !!! … Anyway I applaud the idea… should be fun !

  • I’ve said it before so I’ll say it again….will it feature the late, great Aria Potts ? If it’s based in Burnley will it be called Madam Butter Pie or Porgy and Beast ? Doubt Clarke Carmen-Lisle will feature if he’s off to Preston, he won’t give a figaro. Best of luck CP – we’ve all been waiting a long time for this.

  • So… in the first act, there will be the first meetings between *oyle, Flood and Kilby. This suggests a duet between Flood and Coyle called “I Won’t Let You Down”. And a duet between Flood and Kilby about the dangers and opportunities of *oyle’s ‘Insatiable Hunger’. And a solo for *oyle called ‘I’m An Open Book’, with lines about ‘Come to Work With a Smile on Your Face’ but ‘Cash in When Your Stock is High’. You couldn’t make it up. But – honest – these lines are all in either Brendan Flood’s or Dave Thomas’s books. Any budding songwriters out there? I can’t do this on my own

  • Perhaps ‘I’m an Open Book’ could be set at the 125th Anniversary Dinner (I was there, the night before the Stoke game.) when *oyley was first unleashed on us fans. He could sing ‘Come to Work With a Smile on Your Face’ to us, and after he leaves with us all on our feet and singing along in adulation, the final verse could be sung when he’s walking down the Hargeaves stairs, on his own… ‘You Cash in When Your Stock is High’.

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