Date: 29th August 2010 at 3:29pm
Written by:

The Carling Cup third-round draw was made on Saturday and there is probably no Clarets fan on the planet who has not heard yet who we will be playing! Yep it`s Bolton at Turf Moor. If God had control of the balls being drawn out of the hat yesterday he must have had a wry smile on his face. Owen Coyle, who we used to call God, must also now be wondering if there is one despite his strong religious beliefs! Oh no, the gauntlet of Judas taunts (or worse) again, he must surely be thinking

There is something funny, peculiar about this draw despite the implications for both clubs. I certainly found out in amusing circumstances. I was on the club coach travelling down to the Swansea game when we all heard the draw. Just before the draw I was having a chat with Chris Gibson who you may know is Burnley FC`s Catering Manager. He was looking after us all on the coach yesterday and was doing a sterling job. I really am sad the club are doing away with this service, it has been excellent but I digress what was I saying?

Oh yes, just before the draw, we were both probing each other about who we wanted. I said Blackburn, he said Bolton, although I am not sure if he was serious! Moments later his wish came true. It was Chris himself who got the news earlier than anybody else and announced it to the coach party. Probably to a man and woman, we all thought he was pulling our leg at first, he wasn`t!

I personally still have problems when I see Owen Coyle. When he comes on the telly, I seem to get an instant attack of Tourette’s syndrome and start shouting uncontrollable abusive words at him and even my mum joins in now! I know I should have got over it by now and I know I have to start adopting a forgiving adult attitude and move on. Sometimes I think I have but then the blighter comes on the telly wearing a Bolton tracksuit and all those feelings of January 2010 start flooding back and I feel like chucking something at him. (Maybe Custard Pies-see later!)

Will I ever lose these feelings? How can I ever get closure on this? Well beating Bolton comprehensively in the Carling Cup clash would be a start but would that be enough? Seeing him take Bolton down to the Blue Square Premier League would be one longer term method which could finally let me ditch this uncontrollable animosity but I am impatient. There has to be a better way then so I am now writing to Coyle asking if he could help my psychological problems in this area ahead of the match and allow me one last attempt to get this out of my system once and for all. Whether he will allow me to put him in the stocks and let me throw custard pies at him all afternoon remains to be seen but as a true Christian surely he could see the benefits of this? If not I am not sure I am going to be responsible for my actions when I see him walk towards the away dugout on that night in September (Sometime during week commening 20th Sept). I mean I may have to control two of my fingers and refrain from shouting Judas. Strong stuff heh? Will I be controlled and just say bless when I see Coyle, Davis and the rest smirk their way to the dugout? Will all the Clarets fans at the ground follow suit and give him an easy ride? You just can`t see it can you? I also wonder what the Club reception will be like too. Will it be frosty or will it be forgive and forget? Wouldn`t you just love to be a fly on the wall? Boardroom hospitality pre-match and post-match? Well maybe post-match if we win!

I don`t know whether I am happy with this draw or not. If we lose, it`s going to ensure all those scars that were healing nicely will one more be fully opened although if we win, the scars might be dropping off sooner than maybe first thought.

Whatever happens it is going to be one atmospheric night, that`s for sure and we haven`t even mentioned the possibility that Robbie Blake might be playing against us! That would not be comfortable to watch for many Clarets fans and one wonders if Robbie will ask for special dispensation not to play.

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